14 avril 2011

Run with the pup this morning. We get a little bit farther every day. As we're strolling back, I see a little naked boy ahead in the road walking away from us. Ashia slowly walks up behind him...and I can tell already that this is not going to be good. She is the same height as the boy and he turns towards her when she reaches him. The boy screams and starts running away. Ashia thinks he's playing so she runs after him. So he screams more and runs faster. I yell "kay! kay! no! no!" to Ashia and call her towards me, but she's still chasing after boy. Naked boy trips and falls and gets dirt all over himself. Ashia jumps over him and continues to run around. I'm still yelling "kay! kay". I approach the boy to pick him up. He sees me and starts screaming more. He doesn't seem to know what he's terrified of more- puppy or large white person. He picks himself up and runs even faster away. Trips again. Dust all over himself again. By this time, there is a crowd of children laughing and watching. A woman, most likely the boy's mother, shows up to collect her dust child. She's laughing. "Desole, sorry", I keep saying. Ashia and I walk home. Morale of the story: I need to learn the word for desole in fulfulde and dii.

I told Essaya today that I want to get sick. Knock on wood, I've been in this country nearly two months, and the inevitable has not yet occurred. The first time getting sick is always the first, so I just want it to hurry up and happen now before I get going with teaching and health projects. Essaya said he thinks it's possible for me to not get sick for the two years. That would be a miracle. Ashia ate a dead mouse yesterday. And cow poop. And I pet her everyday. As I said, it would be a miracle, possibly even weird, if I don't get sick.

So I'm good friends with one family in my neighborhood. But one of the girls in the family is always asking me for things. Which is fine; I am used to this. But today she asked me for food three times. Like no. You guys have more food in your house than I do. You are not starving. Stop asking me for eggs just because you see that I am giving them to my dog. So tonight, during time #3 of asking me for eggs, I asked her why she always asks me for things. And I told her that it really isn't ok, and that I have never asked her for anything so why does she think it's okay to do that to me? And she said it is because I have everything....and then papa bear came home so we stopped chatting about it for awhile. And after he left, she said that when she asks for things, she is just joking. Do I have everything? Ok, maybe I have a motorcycle helmet, a cool pair of pants, a bike, and a stove. But I don't have a family here. Or a group of friends like she has. Or food that I grew during the rainy season. Or the knowledge of life here and the language. I may have more material things, but I do not have every "thing".

Some fun stats
Song stuck in my head: DJ caught us falling in love again - Usher
Number of students in my first English class: 15
Number of students on list supposedly to be in the English class: 61
Fresh mangoes eaten out en brousse today: 3
Number of cockroaches killed today: 0
Eggs eaten by Ashia and I in the last 48 hours: 8

first big rain of the year :)

17 avril 2011
So something happened today...and it made me take a step back. Essaya and I left their family house after we'd eaten lunch in the early afternoon to talk to someone in town about an upcoming event, and we moto-ed back two hours later. During that time, Essaya's daughter, Josephine made some croquettes (the amazzzing little biscuits that I purchase daily from Rose). Essaya's son, Moussa (who happens to be left-handed just like me, he's the only one in the fam who is, obvi we're buds) was helping Josephine. She gave him a pot of boiling oil to bring into the house. He tripped on the stairs into the house and the oil spilled on the left side of his face. It looked really awful. His eye wasn't burnt, but was swollen shut and the whole side of his face was white from where the skin has fallen off. Essaya and Rose were upset with Josephine and yelling at her because she had given him the scalding oil to carry. I asked Rose if we could take him into the city for a skin graft. She laughed. It wasn't bad enough for that.
I was talking with Essaya the following day as we were examining the wound. They had put betadine and honey on it. Essaya said "isn't that awful....that Josephine". I told him it's just too bad because his life was changed yesterday. He will have scars on his face for the rest of his life. "Really? He will have marks for always", Essaya asked me. Of course, I said. He is still growing and the skin on his face is very fragile.

Later, I was thinking about Moussa. During the two hours that Essaya and I were gone for a meeting, his life changed. A physical change that will be with him for his entire life. Something that everyone will see. But what about the changes that happen to us that we don't necessarily see? With a scar, it is easy to identify the cause and pain behind it. But what about emotional changes that stay with us that aren't apparent to everyone else? On January 12th, I received a call from the Peace Corps Niger bureau telling me to pack up my bags and be in my regional capital the following day; because I was being evacuated from the country. Since that day, so much has happened. So much has changed. But yet, where are my scars from this life-altering event? I am still healing from the transition, but only I know the change and only I can feel the scar from this change in my life.

Ashia and I went on a nice long walk this past Saturday afternoon. We went out on the path the farthest I've been so far. On the walk back, we passed some beautiful mango trees. I'd seen kids climb them before, so I thought why not? When is the last time I have climbed a tree? It was crazy difficult but so worth it. I was a little freaked out too because the last time I tried to climb a mango tree, a spider crawled on me, and I was like heckkkk no to that. But I just told myself to come to terms with the fact that a spider will crawl on me and that I'll just have to deal with it. So I got up into the tree after three attempts or so (one with sneakers, one with just socks, barefeet, then back to sneaks), and maneuvered my way through the branches. A mango tree is very deceiving because, from the outside, there is more fruit than the eye can take in. But once in the interior of the tree, it is difficult to tell with all the leaves exactly where the fruit is hiding. But I found some. And almost fell out of the tree. They don't call it forbidden fruit for nothing, right? It's fine though, just a few scratches. I jumped down and stuffed my pockets with the juicy fruit that I'd thrown to the ground. When I was picking up the fruit, I noticed a tiny spidey on my arm :). Then pup and I walked on home.

Sunset in village

 

12 avril 2011

So today is Tuesday, but this past Saturday, Essaya and I went to G'obri, a small village about an hour up the road. A fair number of people from this village travel to our health center, and a few weeks back, a woman named Hadidja (that's my name here too, saaaweet) invited us to come out some Saturday. Hadidja and all her friends in G'obri and beyond are Mbororo (def not spelling that right, but that's how it's pronounced). On a post blog I posted, I said how Essaya and I traveled to help a Fulfulde woman give birth out in a field somewhere. Ya, no. I was wrong. She was Mbororo. Their local language is Yako, but they all speak Fulfulde. Apparently it's a different variation of Fulfulde? Who knew? I can't tell the difference yet between Fulfulde and Dii, much the less dialects of Fulfulde.

Ok, so we moto-on out to the village. The market is decent-sized actually despite G'obri being such a small town. It is a large market because the Mbororo are cattle people and bring in their cows/goats/sheep to sell weekly. Mbororo are typically nomadic, so they follow their cattle wherever they go, but pockets of them here in the Adamawa region of Cameroon have settled down and maintained permanent residence. Ok, so we show up at the market and we quickly spot our Mbororo friends. Their attire and appearance is very different from the Dii peeps here.

Attire for men: plastic sneaker shoes (difficult to describe, they look like Nike/Adidas sneakers, except that they are plastic), pants and long shirt of same fabric, HAT, huge sword, plastic water bottle on piece of string.
Attire for women: plastic flats (similar idea to sneakers, but more lady-like), panya skirt of one fabric, panya/soft fabric shirt of another design, flower/bird print scarf tied around head, lots and lots of beaded necklaces.
Oh...and they all have tattoos on their faces. In various amazing designs. So we find our peeps and we're looking for Hadidja. But apparently she's over at the cattle auction. Ok, so we walk over to the cattle auction, which was just closing but we could get the general idea. Tons of animals. Sheep. Cows and more cows. Goats. A full-grown cow goes for 300,000 FCFA ($600) and a baby goat goes for about 20,000 ($40). Essaya and I ate some yummy meat (stand set up right next to auction, obvi) and found Hadidja. She was so pumped to see us, and told me that the Saturday before, she came all the way to my village to bring me a chicken. But I wasn't there...because I was at IST...boo. She said she felt ashamed because she didn't bring the chicken with her to the market because she didn't know we were coming. And she was embarassed that she didn't prepare any food or things to give us. We told her it was fine, and that we will come back and visit another time at her house (yaaaaaaa).

Then we walked back to the market and while Essaya fixed his moto, I chilled with the Mbororo ladies. I don't speak Fulfulde. It was interesting. They kept asking me about my freckles and touching them. I said "they're from the soleil/sun", ya. no. Soleil is not fulfulde. Oh well. Then Essaya and I headed back. I'm so pumped to visit them again. Essaya told them that I want to learn about their traditional medicines...and pretty much be them. It's fine.

Some random thoughts I had today:
-if a vaccine for malaria is ever developed and can be mass-produced, hospitals here will go out of business
-wasn't alone for a single minute of today. Children at my house this morning and all night. A bit annoying. What percentage of the day are Americans alone?
-crazy dream last night about war/apocalypse/cous-cous. mefloquine does crazy things.
-I'll think I'll go on an all-day hike with puppy this Saturday

The Story of Ashia: my puppy and bestest friend

Sooooo I've been eyeing these three pups for sometime now, and, with the help of my nurse friend, Asta, we asked the owner if I could have one. He said I could take it at any time. So when I got back from IST, I stopped over and was given a little girl puppy.

Day 1- carried her from old house to new home, got strange looks from every person I passed, arrived at house, puppy ran away, got help and chased her down, someone helped me tie a rope around her neck and attach her to my house, she wouldn't eat the food I gave her and cried all night long. Puppy: worst decision 2011.

Day 2- puppy is frightened to death of me, tied herself in knots overnight with the rope leash. I went to the health center in the morning, and when I returned, there were four other knots in the rope where she had chewed threw, run away, someone had chased her, and re-tied her to my house. I gave her some milk.

Day 3- Untied leash and took her for a walk. She hesitantly walked behind me. She likes it when I pet her, it probably feels good with all the flea bites.

Day 4- Gave her milk, meat...and a bath. Bath was surprisingly ok. Went on another walk. Used tweezers to pull a tick off her eyebrow. Lit tick on fire with match. Success.

Today- went for a morning walk at 5:30am and an afternoon one at 4:30pm. In the morning we ran a little bit. Gave her a bath and fed her fish for breakfast, couscous for lunch and meat for dinner. We are besties. Puppy: best decision 2011.

The only thing that deranges (disturbs) me about the puppy is when people tell me what to do with her. Like that I shouldn't give her a bath because she'll get sick. But then when I'm giving her a bath and they are watching me, they tell me how to bathe her. No. You don't know. You don't wash your dog, how would you know how it's done? Or when they tell me what I should and shouldn't give her for food. And when she's hungry. Dude, people, you don't even feed your dog. Don't tell me she's not going to like rice. Your dog doesn't even know what rice is because it only eats trash. Everything else about little Ashia is wonderful. Except she has fleas and ear mites. We're working on it.
   
So people are petrified of her. I've watched children when she's around and the only thing I can compare their reactions to is what I do when I see a...cockroach or scorpion. If Ashia playfully runs towards them, they scream, and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. I guess she makes a good guard dog in the sense that children have been conditioned to run away from dogs. It's just sad though when children start crying just because a nice little puppy comes near them. Or maybe they cry because they're scared of me. Ya....we make a pretty good team.

IST + la vie back in village

April 8, 2011

It's been so long...
...since I've written a post for the blog. So March 27th through Apil 3rd, I was in Ngaoundere for a conference called Inservice Training a.k.a. IST. Jeff (Niger evacuee with me who was in my same Health/Agriculture class) and I joined our new-Cameroon-class for a week of meetings. The first three days of training was with our supervisors, and the other four were just the volunteers. We were split up into our Agriculture/Health groups. A lot of the information, I think, was same-old same-old for current volunteers, but for me the majority of it was new or Cameroon-specific, so it was all very beneficial for supervisor, Essaya, and myself. I left the training with a lot of motivation and currently have a ton of kokari (sorry, had to, "effort" in Hausa) to complete assessments and start projects in my village.

Goals for this month:
All-men-in-village meeting
All-women-in-village meeting
All-peeps-in-village meeting
Find school teacher to be my Fulfulde/Dii tutor
Identify first big project the people in the community want to do

This is a good place to talk a little bit about the d-word: development. We touched on it a bit during IST but I have been thinking a lot about it recently. My PERSONAL feeling about development is that it needs to be 100% organized and managed by the people it will benefit (thus making it completely sustainable). In Niger, I had an interesting convo with dear friend Yaa, who I believe is now in Namibia??? I'll facebook her. She said that her feelings about development paralleled a quote found on the UN website. She had it written down, but I will paraphrase it: Development is only fully achieved when an entire community or population of people seeks change and achieves it in every aspect being socially, financially and culturally.
Ok, I'm going to try and find the quote. But essentially, what it was getting it, is that change and development of a culture needs to come from the people themselves. If I go to my village and conduct malaria education or bring a 100 moquito nets and distribute them, that is great and all, but it can't be classified as development. That is just someone coming in and leaving something that wasn't there before. Change needs to come from within the people, and I would be there to act as a resource in order to make the change that they seek, and will mantain, possible.
      
So today, actually, Essaya and I were chatting before the men's reunion, and we got onto the topic of development. I tried to explain this philosophy of mine to him in that I want to assist in projects/development that the people themselves are initiating and seeking to achieve. Even though he has worked with PC volunteers in the past, it was still difficult for him to understand why I couldn't just bring money and things to the village if I have access to them? After explaining for a long time to him that doing that will not benefit the community, I realized that I can't blame him. Currently, Africa is a breeding ground for NGOs. Essaya has lived here his whole life, and has seen more "nasaras" come here and leave that I think I'll ever fully understand. Every now and again, he will tell me a story about an organization that he knew of that was working here. No wonder he and every other person in the village expects things and not information from me.
      
A little anecdote about training that I would like to share: ok so day 1 of training with our supervisors. Some of the supervisors are brand-new to Peace Corps so we had a session about: What is Peace Corps? What do volunteers do? Do we bring money and then peace out like many other NGOs people here are accustomed to? The answer to that last question is obviously no. So while our whole group is having a discussion about all of this, Kim, a past Cameroon volunteer who has worked for PC here for many years, stands up and explains in both French and English that fundamentally, we are ambassadors of peace. And for Americans to travel to a foreign land, be welcomed, and integrate and live in harmony with Africans in our community, that is truest form of peace there is. I don't know about anyone else in the room; but I had tears. At the end of the day, when two people, one American girl from good ol' VT and an African woman who has eight kids and knows four different local languages, can live side by side and be "in harmony" with each other; that is really what peace is all about. Right?
      
Yes, so today was the all-bro giant meeting in village. When I arrived back from Ngaoundere, Essaya and I wrote an announcement in French and posted it on the street (on a mud wall, but apparently it's an important wall or something, I don't know). We had the meeting today, Friday, directly following the afternoon prayer. The meeting was...a success? I think. It's hard to tell. I think I've been extremely spoiled with how we run meetings in the U.S. 125 men came, so that means it was a success in terms of numbers. But in terms of getting ideas across and all being on the same page, I'm not so sure that was achieved.

Itinerary for the meeting:
-Introduction of Hadidja, explain what PC is, another volunteer coming here in December for agriculture
-Map of village, what resources are here already
-List of problems/things we need here. Distinguish after between needs and wants
      
So this itinerary seems pretty straight-forward right? An hour tops for the meeting. Ya. Not so much. Ok, first of all, I'm talking in French the whole time, and that gets translated into Dii by someone. So already the intro and why I'm here takes forever. And the explanation of what PC is about could have gotten lost in translation. Is there a word for development in Dii, a language where she, he, it, and you are all one word? I'm thinking not. So then we move onto the map. Ok, so before the meeting, we had a mini-meeting with the translator and designated-drawers of the map. In retrospect, I should have explained the purpose of the map better. It is to show the people what resources are ALREADY here. It is supposed to be very simple and use symbols so that even the men who can't read will understand. But the designated drawers instead started designing a full-out map with every single road and house. I was like you've got to be joking me, but I stayed calm because I knew it was good for them to draw it and work it out. But after 45 min of map drawing, I said something about justtttt drawing the resources...and so they started the map over again. Which turned out fine, like an hour after that.
      
Ok, so the list of problems. I chose someone else from the group. Audience participation right? No. The person didn't know that we were just brainstorming a simple list (why would they? they've never done something like this before) and started writing lengthy descriptions in French of the ideas. So I ended up writing the ideas, using symbols and big simple words in French that everyone could understand. Ok, so then the list was done. Now, here was the big one. Save the best for last. I need to look into this, but I'm thinking that the words "need" and "want" are the same thing in Dii. Or have the same meaning in Fulfulde and Dii. I explained the difference between a need/want, then my translator did, then Essaya did in Fulfulde, then one other person did. So we get to first problem in village: don't have a football stadium. And all the men in the group yell out "need". Ok, so we explain all over again: a need is something that, if you don't have, you will DIE. A want is something that you seek, but it won't hurt you if you don't have it. We completed the list (kindof) and that was the end of the meeting.
      
Who am I to tell the men in my village, though, what they should need or want? If they say problems with anemia is a want (which they did, don't even get me started on that one, I had to really practice patience at that point) and a multi-media center is a need, maybe that's the truth for them. Possibly different lifestyles and upbringing yield different priorities. Or maybe the whole activity was lost in translation.
      
Another thought about wants and needs: Before I left for IST, Essaya and I chatted with the chef to ask his permission to have the men-meeting. We asked him his thoughts about the development for the village and what was needed. He said very simply: "1. health 2. water 3. fire. Without health, you cannot drink water. With fire, you make the food. Everything else is a desire." But he also meant fire like electricity. Ok. great. So, what do we really need in life? I thought about this at the health center the other day when some Fulbe kids came in for malaria medicine. These kids were 8 and 10 and had never been to a health center or seen a doctor before. They hadn't received any vaccinations and were healthy, minus malaria. I thought vaccinations went on the list of needs until I saw them. So what does go on the list? Clean air, clean water, clean food. How do "need for space" and shelter fit on the list? Do gravity and the ozone layer go on there, or are they assumed (had to, sorry, miss ya biochemistry)? When do vaccinations and medicines go on there? Is the list of needs specific to every culture or community of people? The two Fulbe children didn't neeeed vaccinations, but they did need malaria medicine in order to continue living. Or is the list separate to every single person? If I'm going to run with that arguement, then here is my list of needs:

(assuming I live on planet earth, with gravity and intact ozone layers, in the climate I'm in right now that stays between 70-120 degrees Farenheit, in the village I'm in right now where there is land for miles and miles so there is no worry about not having enough space)

1. Clean air (questionable on days when people burn trash including plastic bags, batteries, etc.)
2. Clean water (thank you filter, or pumpos that provide clean-looking forrage water :) )
Ok where is where it gets interesting. Ok, so humans, we can live for a month without food, right? How long can we live if the water we drink has bad stuff in it? If I drink bacteria-infested water, will I need antibiotics before food to stay alive to hit the one-month mark when food is absolutely necessary?
3. Antibiotics and other basic medicines (so not vaccines).
4. Food (if I'm going to be picky, I'm going to ask for a balanced diet rich in iron, vitamins and minerals, but this is a need so I'm going to be very broad and not even put cleannnn food).
5. What goes here? Vaccinations? If I hadn't had the typhoid vaccine before arriving here, I would definetly have contracted that thus far. So should I prioritize vaccinations?
....so, as you can tell, this list of "needs" or the things that are obligatory for life here on planet earth is very difficult to make. How can I ask a group of people to clarify their needs versus wants...if I can't even do so for myself?

Good News
puppy. puppy. puppy.
Bad News
Abdou, my little best friend, is in Ngaoundere visiting his mother for awhile. I miss him. I told his fam the only way I know how to express my feelings in French: that I'm going to die if he doesn't come back.